SandwichesShouldNeverTasteLikeCowCrap.jpegSandwiches Should NEVER Taste Like Cow Crap by Dave Lowe (published by Manta Press in 2008) is a tasty stew of stories from life on the Lowe Road.

Starting with strip searches at foreign customs, run-ins with tatami dragon ladies, rides aboard horny camels, shots fired by AK-47's, wheels breaking off taxis and more than a flightmare or two - Dave's travelogue poses a question: Are his size 13 shoes spreading mayhem and chaos with each step?

Only the Travel Gods know for sure.....

Sandwiches Should NEVER Taste Like Cow Crap's synopsis, preface, sample chapters and acclaim can be found by navigating the section below.

Dave Lowe's blog, The Lowe Road covers what's happening in travel, from zero to seven to star, hovels to hotels, donkeycarts to airlines and anything else useful that may come in handy for that future luxury resort vacation in North Korea.

TLR Airlines
Monday
Mar212011

A Sweet Way to Fly: Review of SWISS New Business Class Product

 

I recently had the pleasure of experiencing the new Business Class product just introduced by SWISS International Air Lines across their wide body Airbus A340 fleet.

SWISS launched a San Francisco Zurich service on June 2nd, 2010. Since then, the daily flight has been a runaway success proving extremely popular with business and leisure travelers alike.

So on a rainy Sunday afternoon in March, off I went to check-in for SWISS (LX) 039 between San Francisco and Zurich….

 

 

Check-In

With a 7:25 pm departure, I arrived at SFO’s spacious international terminal at just after five pm and found the SWISS ground staff extremely friendly and courteous as they checked in passengers. (Online check-in for SWISS is also possible at www.SWISS.com and is available from 23 hours to 1 prior to departure)

After walking to gate G100, I was happy to discover the aircraft operating LX 039 was none other than the logo jet ‘San Francisco,’ registration HB-JMJ, painted especially for the launch of the route.

 

On Board

Boarding was smooth and I quickly found my seat, 7D. A flight attendant came by with a choice between champagne and orange juice accompanied with a serving of salted cashews. As I sipped my choice I took a look around the cabin.

Configured in a 2 – 2 – 1 layout, the

 seats in the SWISS Business Class section were decorated in soothing earth tones. All seats are staggered to allow passengers lie fully flat by extending underneath the seat space in front of them.

My seat had an easy to use console on the left arm rest to choose between two main positions: Take-off & Landing and Bed. An air pillow system, designed by the Swiss firm Contour, allows the seat cushions to be adjusted for comfort with firmer/softer options at the touch of a button.

An amenity kit with toothbrush, eyeshades, slipper socks, ear plugs and personal care products by Valmont of Switzerland was placed in the flat tray built into the seat in front of me along with a copy of the dedicated SWISS Business and First Class in-flight magazine, SWISS Universe.

In-Flight Meals

As is common with the Airbus 340, the take off roll was long, but we were soon cruising at 35,000 feet. After the seat belt sign was turned off, meal menus were handed out and the dinner service began. The menu featured choices from the immensely popular SWISS Taste of Switzerland program that features dishes from various cantons (provinces) of Switzerland. Seasonally inspired, they are prepared by some of the country’s top chefs.

There was a choice between two appetizers (I chose the smoked salmon) and four main courses (I chose the roast chicken with fresh dill). A variety of SWISS and international wines were offered and I enjoyed a crisp Swiss white wine with my meal.

SWISS Entertainment

As I dined, I moved my seat into a more relaxed lounge position which made the meal that much more enjoyable. I also had a chance to browse the in-flight entertainment options. The video on demand system onboard all SWISS aircraft features the same choices in all classes, and allows for every video and audio feature to be paused, rewound, and fast forwarded as you wish.

The 10.4” inch screen was perfect for viewing the selection of 22 first run Hollywood and international movies plus 40 television programs and documentaries. In addition, 16 Music channels and more than 300 CDs and 15 games can also be played. An air show provided GPS positioning for the aircraft during the flight, complemented by two cameras – one facing forward and one facing down – giving passengers a bird’s eye view of earth.

After dinner a box of premium Swiss chocolates was brought around by the in flight crew – who told me not to be shy – take as many as you like. I must admit I was not! I made a few selections and enjoyed them along with a cup of delicious strawberry parfait and hot espresso coffee – brewed on board.

Bedtime

Three hours after take-off and it was time for bed. The SWISS Business Class seat does not require you to get up and re-configure it; I simply pressed the button for ‘Bed’ and the seat sank and stretched out into a six foot six inch (two meter long) fully flat bed. A firm pillow and thick blanket kept me warm during the night, and with little turbulence, I slept nearly all the way to breakfast service the next morning. I did wake up around midnight for a cup of hot soup that the friendly crew heated up for me in the galley, where I stopped for a brief chat.

Touchdown in Zurich

A tasty breakfast was served shortly before arrival. Crispy Swiss Rösti was available along with a selection of fresh fruits, plain and flavored yogurts and coffee/tea. The meal was delivered a la carte by the smiling crew. Just prior to landing, more Swiss chocolates were handed out, this time stamped with the SWISS logo.

As we approached Zurich, stunning views of the snow clad Alps passed on the right side of the Airbus 340. It was a very sweet sight as I munched the milk chocolate, and within ten minutes we had touched down. After the excellent meals, comfortable business class seat and free flowing chocolates on board, not to mention the swift, professional and courteous service from the SWISS cabin crew, I was very reluctant to leave my seat when we pulled up at the gate!

Making a Europe Connection

Three SWISS ground staff were on hand to assist passengers making onward connections. All SWISS intercontinental flights arrive at Concourse E, and European flights depart from Concourse A. An underground train connects the two terminals via a five-minute ride through a tunnel complete with stop motion advertisements for tourism Switzerland. The shots are accompanied by mooing cows and jangling bells!  Both brought out chuckles from fellow passengers.

Passport control followed and I was processed in less than three minutes by a friendly border control officer. Five minutes after that, I was through security and on my way to my connecting flight that left from A6 45 minutes later. No hassles, no problems, and plenty of time to shop for Swiss chocolates!

About SWISS:

From its hub in Zurich SWISS International Air Lines serves 72 destinations in 39 countries across four continents. Onward connects to Africa, the Middle East and points around Europe are a breeze through what is certainly Europe’s easiest airports to transit.

Operating under the airline code LX, SWISS International Air Lines has an all Airbus fleet of 88 aircraft. The carrier joined the Star Alliance network in 2006. The airline recently introduced a new fully flat Business class seat onboard their long haul Airbus 340 aircraft that will be available fleet wide by mid 2011.

 For more information and to make a booking, click www.SWISS.com


Friday
Mar182011

110,000 Trade Visitors at 2011 ITB Berlin

As the world's largest travel trade show, ITB Berlin attracts Mongolian throat singers, Paraguayan lhama herders, Pappuan villagers and Syrian coffee sellers to the show to promote their country's culture.  

2011 was a record year for ITB and over 110,000 trade visitors attended the show to buy new product, negotiate contracts and much more.

Tens of thousands more came on the public days to stock up on brochures and maps for trips to be taken in 2011 and beyond. 

www.itb-berlin.com

 

Every October, held in Singapore is the sister show to ITB Berlin, ITB Asia. 

www.itb-asia.com

 

 

Wednesday
Feb232011

'Pan Am' to Debut This Fall on ABC

From the film, 2001

Well the adage is correct: Pan Am as the globe circling airline may be gone, it is surely not forgotten: this fall on the American network, ABC, a period drama entitled 'Pan Am' will debut, styled in much the same way as Mad Men. 

With a team of producers and writers from such hits as ER, the show is sure to be a success - especially since it will be set in the 1960's which has been a period of intense fascination of late. 

NO matter how long the show airs, it will certainly push the numerous vintage Pan Am items on Ebay - everything from china to airline bags to blankets - through the roof in popularity in a way even the blockbuster film Catch me if you Can could not.

Wednesday
Feb232011

The Virgin Round Up: New Uniforms, Hottest Cabin Crew, and Chicago

With Elle Macpherson strutting down the catwalk, Australia's low cost airline Virgin Blue has launched new uniforms for its cabin staff. 

VB's UK partner, Virgin Atlantic, recently topped the 'Hottest Flight Attendants' poll at www.businesstraveller.com.

And US carrier, Virgin America, has just added Chicago to its growing network of North American destinations. 

 

www.virginblue.com.au

www.virginamerica.com

www.virginatlantic.com

 

Wednesday
Feb162011

Winter in the Yosemite Valley

Visitors to the US may head for the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone or the red rock deserts in the southwest USA, but those heading to Yellowstone can enjoy tumbling waterfalls, soaring granite monoliths made famous in silver gelatin black and white fotos from Ansel Adams. 

Winter may be the most magical time of all at Yosemite - river rocks are crusted with fresh snow, the rocky cliffs are covered in a dusting of sugar and ice crashed over the falls at regular intervals....

Bridal Veil Falls

Moon Over Yosemite

Yosemite Falls

Half Dome 

National Park Service


 

www.nps.gov/yose/

www.yosemitepark.com/

http://www.yosemiteconservancy.org/

Monday
Feb142011

Back The Ban to END Shark Finning

California is working towards legislation to end the finning, sale or posession of shark fins in the state. Following the state of Hawaii's ban last year, this would mean two states in the US would now have a total prohibition on the trade that slaughters 100 million sharks a year, draining the oceans of its top predator.

Oregon and Washington are also considering bans on the sale of the fins that are harvested in the most brutal way: sharks are finned while still alive before they are thrown back into the sea to drown. 

www.stopsharkfinning.net

Monday
Feb142011

The Boeing 747-8 Intercontinental: The Next Air Force One?

With an '8' after its name (taken from the 787 Dreamliner from which this new plane gets its avionics and other technical features) the 747-8 Intercontinental passenger jet has been unveiled in Seattle.

With just 107 firm orders, of which most are freighter versions, the new and improved 747-8 Intercontinental, the 5th incarnation of the original 747 that was first launched in 1968 and first flew passengers in 1969, is boasting the usual superjet add-ons like onboard gyms, waterfalls and stand up bars - but the real throw back onboard are the bunks for premium passengers that have been added to an upstairs cabin reminiscent of the old Pan Am stratocruisers of old. 

In the never ending pissing contest that is todays passenger aviation industry, the 747-8 Intercontinental will be slightly longer than an Airbus A380, allowing Boeing to retake the at least one passenger jet category from its chief global rival. 

It is believed that Air Force 1 will eventually be replaced by a 747-8 Intercontinental. 

www.boeing.com

www.newairplane.com/747

Monday
Feb072011

Singapore Airlines Brings Back the Singapore Girl 

While the airline industry's most recognizable brand image never really quite left the airline, the Singapore Girl is back: the carrier with service even other airline's talk about has recently launched a new advert using an SQ flight attendant as the central character in the commercial that visits San Francisco, Paris, India and China:

Watch it here: New SQ Advert

In typical Singapore Airlines marketing style, no shiny planes are shown, no cabins are bragged about,  no food is presented to show they are superior to X Airlines - none of it: just the gracious service of the stewardesses (as they are still called) on board from a carrier whose on time performance is something other airlines wish they could talk about. 

www.sqtalk.com

www.singaporeair.com

Monday
Feb072011

Kim Jong Il To Poke South Korea? Air Koryo Joins Facebook

In what seems like a match made only in that dubious world of social networking, Air Koryo the national airline of North Korea has recently joined Facebook. 

 

For what purpose the airline of this hermeticaly sealed Stalinist State has on the bubbly, oversharing world of Facebook that is kept alive by users posting what they ate last night and how bored they are staring at their computer screen at work, is a mystery, but the airline did say the purpose of being on Facebook was to meet men and for networking. 

The Facebook page does have the airline's entire schedule posted, convenient for those last minute trips to Pyongyang. 

www.korea-dpr.com/airkoryo.htm

http://www.facebook.com

 

Monday
Feb072011

TWA Terminal To Take Off Into a Boutique Hotel

It was 1962 at what was then known as Idlewild airport - a futuristic airport terminal opened for Trans World Airlines designed by Eero Saarinen (also known for the St. Louis arch) serving as its New York hub.

Fast forward 40 years and TWA and the Idlewild name are gone (the airport became known as JFK one month after his assassination in Dallas) along with the aviation industry as we knew it - and despite the buildings futiristic appeal the terminal remains empty.

While Jet Blue built a new terminal behind the old TWA base, no one could use it because it was unwieldly for todays security screening. The Port Authority spent $20 million in removing the asbestos inside it in hopes of renting it out, to no takers.

Now it is believed the terminal will become the lobby of an airport hotel with 150 rooms, and the PA is looking for investors to build a hotel between the old TWA terminal and the new JetBlue base. 

While the site may seem like an advantageous place to build a hotel, the owners will have to pass FAA inspections and follow the building's resistry as a historic site. Still, with shopping and dining options planned for the old TWA terminal, the site could draw a considerable amount of traffic to one of the worlds most iconic buildings. 

www.jfkiat.com

www.panynj.gov

www.jetblue.com

Friday
Feb042011

Birds Of a Feather Logo Together: The JAL Crane Rises 

 

In the efforts of branding, numerous airlines integrate birds into their national logos, but the crane is perhaps the most common bird used.

From Lufthansa to Singapore Airlines, Air Koryo to Xiamen Airlines, the crane stylized or otherwise have been used to represent airline's brand to the world.  

Japan Airlines is one more - but ditched the crane in 2008 for a generic red disk symbolizing the rising sun.

Since then, the airline has suffered set back after setback, including a huliliating government bail out in 2010 that resulted in routes axed and staff cut.

But now the JAL crane is coming back: sources say the airline will re-introduce the crane in order to right the company's fortunes, after rumors circulated that the removal of the crane was the cause of the airlines near demise. 

 

www.jal.com

 

Friday
Feb042011

Malawi's New Public Law - Arrested for Flatulence?

If you have a little trouble in the gas department, might want to give the East African nation of Malawi a miss.

A recent law in Malawi, more known for the lake that bears its name and colorful Cichlids that live in it, enacted by the government is aimed at locals 'fouling the air.' Seen as some to refer to vehicular pollution, some judges have taken a much stricter interpretation to cover that farting in public - and doing so would result in immediate arrest.

 

Thursday
Feb032011

2011: Year of the Small Antarctica Cruise Ship Experience

 

As the 2010 Antarctic cruise season draws to a close, a sea change is coming to the worlds most exclusive destination.

In August 2011 all cruise ships using heavy fuel oils will be banned from visiting the 7th continent of Antarctica. This means that all ships with over 500 passengers will not operate cruises and shore excursions will be heavily restricted in both numbers and timing - only 100 people can be on shore at any one time from only one ship. 

The move came from a vote by the International Maritime Organization (IMO) after several groundings - and the sinking of Gap Adventures M/S Explorer in 2007 that have marred this pristine and fragile corner of the world. 

The International Association of Antarctica Tour Operators (IAATO) has endorsed the move and has predicted the number of visitors will drop to 27,000 from a peak of almost 40,000 this past year. 

www.iaato.org

www.imo.org

  

Thursday
Feb032011

How Do You Say ZZZZZZZZZZ in Swedish?

A Scandinavia Airlines System (SAS) pilot dozed off while his co-pilot went to use the toilet on a recent Copenhagen to Stockholm flight. The plane continued to fly on auto pilot as the co-pilot used the buzzer after rapping and banging failed to rouse the sleeping pilot. 

It is not the first time a pilot has gotten some zzzzzz's: a pair of Vietnam Airlines pilots dozed off on a flight Paris that resulted in fighter jets being scrambled. 

The pilot has not been suspended and no further action is to be taken against him by the airline. 

www.sas.com

Tuesday
Feb012011

Far North Queensland Faces 'Worst Cyclone Australia Has Ever Seen'

Cairns, the gateway to the Great Barrier Reef, is expected to take an almost direct hit by Cyclone Yasi, a category 5 storm that is racing in from the Coral Sea.  

Damage is meant to exceed that of Cyclone Larry in 2006 and even Cyclone Tracy that devastated Darwin in 1974.

A storm surge of 2.5 meters expected to inundate the CBD of Cairns itself, with nearby Townsville also expected to be heavily flooded. 

Residents are fleeing by car to escape the storm that now has gusts of almost 300 kph/182 mph. The eye is so large that it may take an hour for it to cross land. Those who havent left have emptied store shelves an boarded up windows. 

Only time will tell how long it will take for Cairns' tourist economy to bounce back from this not to mention the damage to the Great Barrier Reef itself. 

Monday
Jan312011

San Francisco gets its first A380 - Lufthansa's FRA - SFO to Launch 

San Francisco Airport (SFO) will get the first scheduled A380 service a full 3 years after the airplane took to the skies on the Singapore - Sydney route. 

Starting May 11, the jet will replace the current 747-400 on the flight, exciting for some but not for others - seeing 747's on long haul sectors these days is getting harder all the time: while once the staple for international airlines, Japan Airlines and Singapore Airlines are dumping their entire 747 fleets this year.

 

www.Lufthansa.com

Monday
Jan312011

Nile Cruise Industry Likely to Sink in 2011

Hot on the heels of a series of shark attacks off the Red Sea coast that left several tourists severely injured, now the Egyptian tourist industry has an even bigger problem: civil unrest. 

Much of Egypt's tourist industry relies on package groups, the niche most likely to freak out the moment they hear the words tear gas and raging mob; the Nile Cruise industry has already ground to a halt with ships docking where ever they can to avoid the conflict in larger cities.

With the entire country's internet system off line, airlines, hotels and tour operators are scrambling with 20th century communication in order to navigate the chaos. 

While the Red Sea resorts are safe and airports are operating, visitor numbers there are sure to plunge just as far. 

While the country has weathered severe downturns before from 9/11 to the massacre at the Hatshepsut temple in Luxor, the scenes on the evening news will surely have a far more damaging and long lasting effect.

 

Monday
Jan312011

Thai Airline recruits Lady Boys as FA's

Soon to be launched Thai Airline PC Air has selected three ladyboys - locally known as katoeys - as flight attendants to staff the carriers planes. 

After meeting the carriers language requirements and service standards, they join a group of 17 other cabin attendants. 

In order to avoid confusion, these staff will wear name badges identifying them as from the 'third sex,' so common in Thailand that high schools even have 3rd gender bathrooms on campus. 

It is thought that PC Airs selection marks the first time transexuals have joined a major airline. 

Tuesday
Dec142010

Its Not Just the Grinch That Ruins Christmas: Stress Does, Too

Trying to avoid hosting folks this Christmas? Make use of the top two excuses to get family to stay in a hotel: 

A) Pretend to be out of town

B) Say you are renovating the house

In a holiday stres survey conducted by Choice Hotels International, 36% of Americans wished their relatives would stay in a hotel (and why not? rates this time of year are lower than average beginning at $99).

Piled on top of holiday shopping, cooking, decorating and end of year workloads, it is also revealed that 40% can't stomach family for more than 3 to 5 days. With 22 properties across the country, Auntie Meg has a warm bed waiting for her! 

www.choicehotels.com

Wednesday
Nov172010

The New Paper of Plastic: Radiation or Grope?

With the words 'Touch my junk, and Ill get u sent to prison' a recent passenger traveling through San Diego became the latest youtube hero to millions, refusing a humiliating virtual strip search for an even more intimate grab and grope by a man in a uniform equipped with latex gloves. 

As Thanksgiving and Christmas approach, and the madness that ensues at airports around the world, expect more people to say NO to the new paper or plastic: either raise ur arms to have ur clothes seen thru, or choose the less than pleasant alternative - some strangers hands moving where they shouldn't. 

Who wants to fly these days with this kind of crap? Orgs lie this have sprung up to protest the increasing invasions:

www.stopvirtualstripsearches.org

With scientists saying cancer can be caused by the scanners: La Times

And now November 24th has been deemed National Opt out day - a day for all airline passengers to refuse body scans as a trample on their human rights. Visit www.optoutday.com for more info.

 

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