Airline Fetish / ayr-lihne-feh-tysh / (noun)
Definition: A crippling obsession with all things aviation, be it in flight meals, seat pitches, crew uniforms, airline safety videos, airline crashes, Boeing and Airbus trivia, airline codes, city codes and more.
This condition is not necessarily limited to those who work in the travel industry, as varying degrees of Airline Fetish cases have been reported across all aspects of human society.
Do You Have an Airline Fetish? This increasingly common condition can be identified by some of the following symptoms:
+You don't just get excited while viewing airline timetables - you actually collect them
+You actually care what plane you are flying on
+You can remember the last time you flew the same model plane as the one you are on, and are happy to tell yourseat mate (who could not care less)
+You know more about the airline's financial situation than the flight attendants on your plane
+You are unable to stop staring at a plane passing overhead
+When the cabin crew ask for your attention, you give it - willingly
+You are able to identify an aircraft type in under 3 seconds
+You can recognize an airline just by seeing a crew in their uniform
+You actually take a photo of your airline meal (and you are not Japanese)
+You loiter on websites like www.airliners.net to discuss the latest industry news
+You lust after Singapore Airlines flight attendants
+You can rattle off ten city codes in less than ten seconds
+In an airport, you actually smile because you are surrounded by so much metal
+Your friends call you up to ask for flight schedules to Rome instead of their travel agent
+Your skin tingles when you get frisked by security
+You can recite a long dead alrline's timetable between two cities in Asia in 1980
+You believe Jet Fuel scented aftershave should be sold at Duty Free
The snap of a seatbelt buckle makes you pant like Pavlov's dog
+You are on www.ebay.com to add to your airline swizzle stick collection
+Your first crush was on a flight attendant
+You wouldn't dream of taking a Fear of Flying course
+You have an audio clip of an Illyushin 62's engine revving on your IPOD
+Jet lag is your best friend
Unfortunately, there is no known cure for an Airline Fetish - the only remedy is to be as often on planes as often as possible, in an effort to reduce the crippling condition from taking over your life.
Fortunately, like most medical conditions these days, the internet has become a haven for sufferers, and various support groups exist. Visit 'Airline Fetishists Unite' for a selection.
