Sandwiches Should NEVER Taste Like Cow Crap
CONTENTS
Preface 11
JAPAN AND KOREA
Pachinko Balls 15
Tani House 20
The Disgruntled Expatriates Club 27
Tatami Dragon Lady II 34
Paper Cranes and Atomic Bombs 46
Down Unzens Throat 50
Crooked Teeth 55
Osaka Tuesdays 61
Typhoon Interpol 64
Lost in Translation 67
Left Sister, Right Sister 75
CAMBODIA AND VIETNAM
Welcome to the Jungle 82
Year Zero 89
Ghost Hotel 94
Machete Sandwich 100
Life Aboard the Flying Dragon 106
The Dog Lick, Coconut Bomb, Dead Goose Beer Fest 116
Wheel’s on Fire… 121
Now They Come in Buses! 125
One Hundred Hours in the Hanoi Hilton 127
The DMZ Freeway 133
DJIBOUTI, ETHIOPIA, KENYA & ZANZIBAR
Don Muang to Eternity 140
E.T. Phone Home 145
Chewing the Chat 154
All Aboard the Bullet Train 161
Filthy Beasts 167
Addis to the Blue Nile 172
In the Hands of Abraham 177
Eritrean Dreaming 183
Angels and Demons 187
Seven Days, Six Fingers, and Five AK-47’s 192
Please Don’t Blow Up the Bus 201
White Sands, Dark Nights 205
NEPAL, INDIA & THE MALDIVES
In the Grip of Inshallah 212
Even Saddhus Need a Vacation 217
How Much Do You Know About Mother Ganges? 223
Guru Shmuru 229
The Great Railway Bizarre 234
Pamplona, Rajastan 238
Cow Crap Sandwiches 242
Rats Gone Wild 247
Golden Temples and Dalai Lamas 250
The High Road 258
Altitude Attitude 265
Lightless in Little Tibet 271
Into Thin Air 275
Beware The Delhi Dog Shit Man 286
Ganesh is My Copilot 293
Freaks to Geeks and the End of India 298
Tea With Tattoo 306
(No Subject) 310
Epilogue 319
Acknowledgements 321
About the Author 323
There’s a Cockroach On My Pillow 325